Embracing the new reality

This was the second full week of me being out of work.

Last week, I realized that I worry too much about the future. It’s counter-productive. I was also reminded that I had been in worse situation financially,which was the center of my worry, in the past. My God has proven his faithfulness in this area times and times again, so this time, I have no reason to doubt that He will do the same.

My brother got a new job this week. I’m ecstatic for him. It’s an opportunity that didn’t look very appealing at first, but the more he explored it, the more promising it became. He gets to work with the best of the best, stable company, and predictable work schedule that allows him to experience life more.

This also alleviates the financial worry that I had. My main concern was the well-being of our parents. Now that one of us is back at work provides assurance that our parents’ needs will be met.

Preparing the opening for the next chapter

My life feels like a new game of chess. Right now, I’m placing my pieces in strategic places to create a strong formation and momentum for my future.

My resume has been updated. I’m fortunate to receive valuable feedback both from my brother and good friend.

On Wednesday, I spent 11 hours straight working on updating my portfolio. I’m glad to report that I still have the flash skill to do what I wanted. This experience made me think of how I paint. Every time I thought I was done, I’d see something that could use a little improvement, so I’d say to myself “I’m just going to do that one little thing , then I’m done.” Of course, while doing that, I notice another little thing to address, then another. The next thing I know, I have been spending hours working on that project. Getting lost in a project like this is a great feeling.

My next step is to start leaving recommendation on linkedIn and asking for one from people in my contact list. I also need to network more. If you would like to add me as one of your linkedIn connections, here’s my profile.

Life possibilities

My ideal next job would be doing user experience for a financial media company. Few names come to mind: Bloomberg, CNBC or the Wall Street Journal. I figured since I was involved in pushing Yahoo! Finance to be the no. 1 financial web site on the web, I could certainly help these other companies to improve web presence.

Most of those companies are located in New York, so moving back to the Big Apple is certainly a possibility.

Another idea is explore what Nothern California has to offer since there are a lot of technology companies up there.

Of course, I’m open to local (Los Angeles) opportunities as well. It’d be nice to stay in LA since I just started building my life here.

Although finding a new full-time employment seems to be the most promising path financially, I’m also keeping myself open to opportunities in doing contract work in design, art/body art and teaching opportunities.

This week, I’ve managed to embrace this new reality and started enjoying life. Every morning, I’m forced to think what I want and need to do for that day. Scary, but exciting. I feel alive.

A text message from mom.

An IM message from a friend in Philadelphia. 

A quick phone call from my parents.

A sweet card from my girlfriend.

A nice wish from a DMV employee 

An email titled "best wishes" from a good friend I used to work with

A comment on my friendster page from a friend in Portland 

A big red announcement on the whiteboard by my cube.

A voice mail from my brother. 

A text and IM messages from a good friend of mine in Australia. 

A lunch treat from my collagues with cream puff as dessert. 

A plant in front my my door (a sweet thoughtful gift from my gf)

A phone call from a good friend of mine in Chincago.

A chat with my cousin in Indonesia

A friendster comment from a friend in Indonesia

An IM message from my friend in Taiwan.

An IM from my friend in Austin.

They all wish me a happy birthday. 

I'm 28 today.

Today as a day doesn't feel special.

Nothing dramatic happened.

When people asked me what I'd do today, I didn't know how to answer since I didn't have anything special planned.

But today is a special day for me.

It's a day filled with reminders of how lucky I am.

I'm loved.

Many people around the globe decided to pause their lives so they can communicate to me that they care about me. Some even did it more than once to make sure I receive the message… or it'd be better to say to make sure I receive their love.

I'm 28 today.

28 years of mistakes and shortcomings has come and gone, but inspite of that I'm still standing here surrounded by love. 

I'm a lucky man.

to shorten then distance between one's imagination and its manifestation in the physical world.

art = a creative endeavor= expression of human soul = giving a human touch to something = making the world more human one object at a time = to celebrate humanity = to awaken the humanity in others = to touch another human's soul = to inspire others to be fully human = a celebration/meditation/lamentation on life = to inspire others to live = to inspire change = a vision for a better world.

I got an interesting idea while i was praying today.

It started last night while I was reading Soul Cravings last night. In that book, Erwin McManus invites his readers to a journey inside of our own souls.  He states that the universe inside of us can be as big as the universe outside of us. That idea fascinates me.

But what if it's more than just an idea?

I certainly can't say that I've tried that and it's not true.

What if we, as human, are the portals to the spiritual realm?

What if the gateway of heaven is nowhere to be found in the material world, but it could appears inside of ourselves?

I'm not suggesting that we all have a power within or God is only a potential inside of us waiting to be awaken. None of those self-centered ideas.

I'm simply suggesting that we could be the portals that lead ourselves (and perhaps others) to a spiritual place where we could meet God.

My jaw was really tired, but I had to keep my mouth opened.

"Open wide," he said.

Music playing in the background. A random sappy song from the 80's.

I was getting some fillings done at my dentist.

I was sufferring.

…

Then I had an idea…

What if I just observe this situation without thinking that it's a negative thing?

I tried to relax.

It actually worked.

I didn't really suffer anymore for the rest of that visit. The pain was there, but the sufferring was not. My girlfriend and I had a discussion about this a while ago, but I had never experimented with it until this occassion.

That made me think that maybe… just maybe… if I can relax in any situation, then i can get the best out of every situation I'm in.

Maybe that's the key. Simple but hard.

I'm starting a new experiment in my life.

I realize that I often waste time doing nothing (i.e. browse the web aimlessly) and then regret it afterwards.

What if I ask myself "why?" as often as possible before I do anything? 

I wonder if this kind of evaluation will help me live my life more effectively. 

That was a line in the first song we sang at church today.

The idea intrigued me.

Life is beautiful. I agree.

But… how about MY life?

Is my life beautiful? 

What would make one's life beautiful?